Umbrellas
When you’re young, you’re under your family’s umbrella. Your dad is holding it and you’re safely tucked beside him. You’re sheltered from the rain.
When you get married, there is a careful transfer, no one wants your white dress to get rain speckled on it. So your dad holds his umbrella close while your new husband holds his as you delicately tip toe across the Great divide.
Then, if things get rocky and you suddenly become a single mum, you realise that only men possess umbrellas. Your dad is busy sorting out life with your mum and the other now grown up children. Your ex tends to his own life and carries on working and doing what he can to further his endeavours. Meanwhile you’re left standing in the rain.
At first you wonder, did I do the right thing? Should I sprint back and get under his umbrella? You have a quick think and remember a few reasons why you are where you are. Standing in the rain. This is where you’d always wanted to be…right? Or maybe just aspects of it, but it is missing some key points. One of them being an umbrella.
So you figure okay, I just need an umbrella, any umbrella. Then I’ll be dry and safe again and I’ll be happy. So you go hunting, but probably too desperately. Every man could see that all you wanted was an umbrella. But you weren’t ready to truly know who you were, what you truly wanted or needed or who they truly were. You weren’t ready. They could see it. They could read your face, your expressions, the lines between your words.
The time comes for you to realise life is possible in the rain, in the fog, without an umbrella, even though deep inside you still want one so desperately. You still carry that hope within, but you grow to know who you are on this planet, what matters to you, what you are actually looking for and you begin to feel more okay about the whole lack of umbrella ordeal.
One day you hope to find the strongest, most sturdy, far-reaching umbrella. Not just one from Bunnings that looks good, but is clearly not built to last through the ages of time. One day you will find one with a solid wood handle, good quality metal and thick canvas. That day will be a good day. But until then, you realise who you are and what you have are enough. The time will come when it is meant to.
To all those who are left in the rain. Don’t fret. At least you will be sparkling clean and there is nothing like singing or dancing in the rain. Don’t waste these precious moments. Enjoy the time. Keep your hopes and dreams. And I hope we each find the most magnificent umbrella one day. It will be so precious.
