By Christina Packer
Sometimes when you’re in a lot of pain, either externally or internally, you push those who are nearest and dearest away. I do not write this for sympathy. I write this to discover what’s actually going on and just to share some thoughts that surface, as sometimes you never know unless you explore the thoughts and feelings. And I realise there’s more than one human who’s ever experienced some kind of pain. Lately, there’s been a lot of pain beneath the surface. Only when someone digs or gets too close, and bears their own heart, do I realize what’s in mine.
Pain is a strange thing. It pushes us away from those we love. We don’t want to be too close. We don’t even want to contemplate, to talk too openly or to be vulnerable, as we are afraid what we will say, how honest we might be, that they would see us for what’s actually going on. It scares us and we don’t know how they will react. We don’t want to hurt them by revealing the truth of the pain we are facing. We’re afraid. We don’t know whether someone could handle this. As we can’t.
So we put on a brave face. We try to March through each day. As best we can. But it’s hard. Every so often, there’s ripples, Stones get thrown into the water, there’s a splash, tears spill over the edge. We try to wipe them away, hoping no one saw. Sometimes words can’t communicate what’s inside. We cannot say the truth. As it’s too painful. And words like that should not be spoken out loud. It’s strange. We can think it. It’s so powerful. Nearly overpowering at times. But to speak it. We can’t. It can’t be uttered.
It’s amazing though. When you do share your heart, with a loved one, a friend, a family member, sometimes even a stranger. Because so often, they long to help. To pray, to listen, to give you a hug, to offer advice. To just be there. And that’s life-giving.
I definitely do not have all the answers. I am on a journey, learning step by step and at times going over the same ground, trying to build a bridge over a river. But one thing I know. There is always hope. Light. Truth. Freedom to be found. Do not give up. There are so many people who love you and long to be there for the journey. You are not alone. We’ve got to learn to fight. And realise we are worth fighting for. You are precious. There is no one like you. And I mean no one. God sees you. He hears you. He listens. He longs to work in your life. ‘
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” ‘~ Jesus. At times the storm wages fiercest right before the dawn. Always keep that in mind. Victory is out there. When we face hard and dark times, There is an answer to the problem we are facing. We need to seek, to knock, to ask. We need to fight. To hope. To pray. To act. To not give up.
‘Never, never, never give up.’~ Winston Churchill. ‘
” Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” ‘~ Moses.