Many people who have lived on this earth for any period of time have asked this question. When Win looked at her life and the world around her, she saw that it had gone downhill. Finally at 51 years of age, Win found the missing piece which filled the uneasy emptiness she had sensed throughout her life.
I was born in 1934 to loving parents. My parents did not believe that there was a God. My father always spoke about how we had evolved. He spoke about Darwin’s theory of evolution to the people who would come and visit. He always had literature for them to go home with if they would take it. Being only a child, I really didn’t care if we had evolved or if we were the handy work of a Creator.
When I was around nine years old God came to me and told me that he was real. I was amazed at such a thing happening to me. God just seemed to breathe this into me. This is the only way that I can describe it. Through this experience, I become aware of the greatness of God as well as the knowledge that He created me.
Read Win’s Poem ‘The Evolutionist’s Sad Story‘
A strong current
Not long after this happened, I went swimming although I was a non-swimmer. A strong current pulled me into the deep water after I had parted from my friends who were swimming upstream. I knew they could not see me or hear my cries for help so I cried out to God to save me. After I did this, I felt as though someone had miraculously helped me to the riverbank. This gave me a stronger conviction than ever that God was real. From that day on, I would feel myself defending God in my heart whenever He was put down. I would think, ” How can they say that about God?’ Even as an adult, I remember coming to tears when my own family blasphemed God.
“And His greatness is unsearchable” (Psalm 145:3, N.K.J.V.)
“Everyone who is called in My name,
Whom I have created for my glory,
I have formed him,
Yes, I have made him” (Isaiah 43:7, N.K.J.V.)
My childhood was a delightful time with a great sense of freedom. We could investigate all the rivers, creeks, wildlife and trees in the area around our small town without any fear. At that time there were many single men who were so poor that they lived in small huts on the land the farmers gave them. The huts usually had dirt floors. We also had many homeless men called ‘swaggies’ in our area. My brother, sister and I would go into the huts and chat with these men. Our parents had no worries with these men and they were not concerned that they would harm us in anyway. We were free to go around our area wherever we wanted. We would go to the pictures and ride our bikes home in the dark at around 11:30 p.m. with our lights flashing. Our parents were not concerned we would be abducted, murdered or raped.
We didn’t own house keys, as we didn’t need to lock up. Marriage break-ups were rare so we enjoyed the security of a stable family. Although we had very little money we didn’t seem to know we were poor. I loved school and my friends. At once stage, I was confined to bed for four months with an illness and my school friends would walk kilometres to see me to cheer me up. Girls seemed to delight in being girls and boys were happy being boys. We did not hear of the things today’s young ones hear about everyday. We were not bombarded with violence, immorality, suicide, drugs, bad language and pornography. Things were very different.
An empty space
My husband and I married at twenty years of age and we had a family of three sons. Even though I adored my family, no matter what good times we had together, there was always an empty space inside me. There was a yearning for this God who had told me that He was real.
Afraid to take the step
When we were in our thirties some evangelists came to our town. I’m not sure why we went down to see them but we did. When they finished their message, they asked if anyone wanted to come down the front to give their life to the Lord or to know more about God. No one went forward at the time but I had this great desire to go. Then I thought, “If I’m the only one to go, I will be the talk of this town.” I didn’t go. Then I felt as though someone was trying to pull me from my seat and this came with such force that I had to cling to my seat. In the end I won and I didn’t go. I was once again amazed at this experience.
Time to worry
With the pressure of overwork on our farm, these memories seemed to fade away and the Gospel message faded with them. It was going to be a long time before I really came to know this God. We retired early and we were so excited! We were to be free of all the pressures of our farm life – worries gone! I had always wanted a big garden with a park-like setting. After much hard work, we had a beautiful garden which won many garden competitions. But somehow problems seemed to come thicker and faster than before. We had more time to think, worry and argue about things.
Wrong becoming right
At the age of fifty, I felt very unhappy with myself. My life and values had changed over the years. Morals had declined in our society and I had felt myself accepting lower standards. Through the media, I was being continually bombarded with violence, murder, blasphemy, immorality and bad language which I did not like. Things I had once known to be wrong were somehow starting to look right!
Being moulded into something I didn’t like
I became aware of how I had been moulded from birth by the world around me. Books, television, videos and movies had all played a big part in this. This caused me great concern. Thinking about the world and its sorry state, I knew there must be a better way but I had no idea what it might be. So I started to seek God because I knew He was out there somewhere. I would cry out to God to come to me. I desperately wanted to know this God who had told me He was real, who had saved me from drowning, and who had tried to pull me from my chair in order that I might know who He was. He was somewhere out there!
“For everyone who asks receives; and he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened” (Matthew 7:8, N.K.J.V.).
Pushing the Creator away was the problem
One day my youngest son brought home a bible. When he was out of the room I would open it at the New Testament and just read whatever was on the page. Without doubting, I believed it to be the truth about mankind. Only the God who created us could have inspired the words I read. Crying as I read, I could see that the problem with the world and myself was that my Creator had been pushed into the background. I felt that God was looking into my heart as I read His word for the very first time.
“The Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:4, N.K.J.V.).
Only God could change my heart
No longer could I say, “I’m a good person” because I knew God knew everything about me. I became a Christian shortly after my 51st birthday. A relative came to me and said; “You had no need to become a Christian because you are a good person.” The problem was that she was looking on the outside. I came to realise that God looks at the inside and I needed to change my heart. Only God could do that!
“For there is not a just man on earth who does good and does not sin” (Ecclesiastes 7:20, N.K.J.V.).
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23, N.K.J.V.).
You come to know God through His Son!
When I was quite young I had been aware that God existed but this did not change my life in anyway. I would even pray to this God that I really did not know. He listened not because I knew Him but because He knew me.
My whole life changed (at age 51) when I gave the control of my life to Jesus Christ and He became my Saviour, my friend and my Redeemer. Reading His Word (the bible) is the way I found out about God and how I could come to know Him.
My excitement at finding my God was beyond measure! I just loved Him because He first loved me and showed His love by sending Jesus to die for my sins. God had waited for me and I finally saw my need for Him.
I pray that you will also see your need for the Creator of your life to come in and fill the emptiness that we all have without Him.
Call out to Him, for God is close to us.
“Since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities – his eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made” (Romans 1:20, N.I.V.).
The Reason (music video)